We’ve all heard of the negative impact of ‘shoulds’ – the frustrating “I should do this.” or “I should do that.” cycle of trying to get yourself to do something because you feel like you have to.
What is the usual response? Procrastination. We wait and push it off and wait and feel guilty and push it off some more.
Most ‘shoulds’ are laden with the heavy energy of obligation and guilt. They weigh you down and steal your focus, clarity, and good humor.
In my opinion, you should drop as many of your shoulds as possible. Get rid of them. Stop procrastinating and just make the decision that you aren’t going to do them.
Because when you get right down to it the energy behind that gift you should buy or that call you should make or that project you should finish isn’t going to feel good to anyone – least of all you.
But what about the stuff you REALLY should do?
Those stubborn tasks/habits/goals that you know will benefit your life in some way you truly desire? Like exercise, eating healthy, going to bed on time – what about those SHOULDs?
Great question. Here is an interesting truth I’ve discovered:
The SHOULDS that you REALLY should do are actually a WANT in disguise.
When you can feel that extra level of desire to complete a ‘should’ you’ve actually uncovered a ‘want’ that’s gotten buried under a whole bunch of other crap.
The trick is to view these helpful tasks as something you want to do rather than keep weighing yourself down with all of that yucky ‘should’ energy.
Your language is very powerful.
Imagine if throughout the day you thought, “I want to go to the gym today.” instead of, “I should go to the gym today.”
There is totally different energy behind each of these thoughts. You can feel it even in the words on this screen. And guess which one actually helps you complete the task? The want of course.
How do you know which is a real want or a real should?
Here’s a quick 5 step test to uncover the rest of your buried wants, pitch the ‘should’s’ that are draining you, and allow all of that wonderful clarity, focus and energy to bubble to the surface.
- Try letting your ‘should’ go FOR GOOD
- If you can let it go for good then do so. And while you’re at it let all the guilt go too.
- If you can’t let it go, then ask yourself: Why is it so important that I complete this task?
- If you dig deep enough your response will help you realize you actually WANT to do this.
- Now get to it! A want is far easier to complete and won’t weigh you down.
What ‘should’ have you discovered is actually a ‘want’? Share your comments below.